One Year Ago Today...

We arrived at the NICU and saw that Sweet B's wonderful nurse had placed this sign above her crib.

We were so thankful that our day had finally come. It was supposed to have been the day before, but hubby and I had stayed in the parent room with Sweet B overnight and she had lost weight. Ten grams to be exact. We had been terrible at feeding her in that room and we couldn't get her to take enough food. (Ha Ha...sound familiar?!) We also hadn't slept a wink and I had even caught hubby staring at her to make sure she was breathing! Needless to say, we were somewhat okay with her staying an extra night, but it still felt like the moment would never come.

When we arrived on the morning of August 24th, 2010 we didn't know that it would be the day that we had been waiting for.

I nervously waited while we went through the process to check her out.

We packed up all of our things: Our diaper bag, bottles, ni.pples, syringes, diapers, wipes, pacifiers, pumping parts, bottles to pump into, and various memorabilia from the NICU.

Bringing her out of the hospital was surreal. I had spent almost seven weeks watching other women bring their babies to their car. The day that I left the hospital after I gave birth, I had seen other women walk out with their babies, and my arms were empty, and I didn't know if I would ever be bringing her home. When we had gotten to the car, I checked my purse for my rings and I couldn't find them. I went right back to the hospital sobbing and I even made the ladies in the hospital office cry. So, leaving the hospital with Sweet B was one of the most wonderful moments of my life.

As we walked out, I heard a woman exclaim, "Look at how tiny that baby is!" I wanted to smack her and say, "Well, look how fat you are!" (Mean, I know :)

She was 3 pounds and 14 ounces. When I hear people say that their six pound baby is tiny, I laugh! She was so small that we couldn't even put her in a car seat. A car seat requires that the baby be at least four pounds. She had to go home in a car bed, which my hubby has since refused to give away because he is so sentimental about it.

We couldn't believe she was actually home. 

Hubby was filming as I walked up the steps with her. She felt like a little doll. I was radiating happiness.

We had just moved into our home right before I went into the hospital, so we hadn't even had time to unpack. I suppose that we could have during the six and a half weeks she was in the NICU, but I was too busy pumping during every free moment that I had!

I was so afraid that I was going to drop her!

We put her in her bassinet and stared at her. Look at how tiny she was!

My boy Tucker did not know what to make of her. My girl Sweetie was obsessed with her and wouldn't stop following her around. I think she wanted to gobble her up (but in a good way.)

We put her in her bouncer and she looked like The Incredible Shrinking Woman.

Then she got scared of the ladybug above her bouncer. There were no ladybugs in the NICU!

Preemie moms will tell you that the first night with their baby at home is terrifying. The main reason is that Sweet B had spent the last six and a half weeks hooked up to monitors which told us exactly how fast her heart was beating and if she was breathing appropriately. Let's just say that I didn't sleep much that night. Or the night after. Or the night after. But I had to get up every four hours to feed her and pump anyway, so it was okay!

What a year. I cannot believe we have had this beautiful little girl home with us for an entire year. A year that has gone incredibly fast. It seems like just yesterday that we were in the NICU. I've still only lost ten pounds in that time. I've spent an entire year telling myself that I need to start taking my vitamins again. But it has also gone slow with the hospital stays and endless feeding and placement of her g-tube and the worries. Interesting how time can go seemingly fast and slow at the same time.

I just can't believe it's been a year. We are so blessed. Thank you God.