The Post in Which I Ramble On About the NICU and Birthdays

I can't believe it's been a week since I've blogged!

Beware: This post is basically diarrhea of the mouth (my sixth graders would get grossed out when I said that to them). There really is no direction, and you will probably be confused. But please, read on!

We have a lot going on over here. I'm getting ready for Sweet B's birthday party. I've bought decorations and now I'm trying to figure out how to put together a slide show. The theme of her party is "rainbow" because everything about her is rainbow to me. She is my rainbow baby (a baby after a loss), she is a miracle, and even her middle name has something to do with a rainbow. I've been looking forward to this celebration for a long time. I invited many people, as I never had a baby shower, so I never got to have a celebration in honor of Sweet B. Also, we've made it through the first year, and she is alive and well, which definitely calls for a big celebration! It saddens me that there are so many people that won't be able to come, and who I couldn't even invite, due to distance. I've lived in so many different places in high school, college, and since we've been married, that our friends are scattered. So the people whom I've invited to this party just live around us. There are people whom I've reconnected with over faceb.ook, from high school and college, and they have said such kind things to me about Sweet B. I would also love for the women whom I've met over the internet to come. These women supported me through my miscarriage and horrific pregnancy, and were actually my greatest form of support, but they are scattered throughout the world. I wish that everyone could come! I just want to celebrate and thank everyone for being so supportive of us through this difficult year.

At this point, I have only about twenty people coming, so hopefully more people will RSVP. But even if only five people come, I'm still partying it up. (I must admit that I'm a terrible drinker. What I wouldn't give to have a few beers or glasses of wine, but it always makes me sick the next day. Boo.)

Yesterday and today we attended the birthday parties of two babies whom we met in the NICU. The one on Saturday was for sweet twin girls, and the one tonight was for who we call "Sweet B's first boyfriend." He's a real doll. Both sets of parents are very special to us. We saw them every day in the NICU. I spoke with the women as we pumped in the pumping room. We compared notes on our kids and how they were doing in breastfeeding (not so well-neither of us!) and we planned what kind of cribs they were to have and what kind of clothes to buy for them. I remember seeing the little boy in the high intensive unit, for a long time with us. He was born at a pound more than Sweet B, but at two pounds, was still tiny. I remember watching them do kangaroo care with him and they spoke to us as we did kangaroo care with Sweet B. I hated it when other people stared while we did kangaroo care (babies as small as Sweet B don't usually do kangaroo care, because they are usually ventilated, so it just looks so strange) but I LOVED it when these parents came over. They were so kind and encouraging and just made us feel comfortable. We didn't meet the twin girls until we went to the step down unit, which is mainly the feeder and grower babies. This mom taught me to be brave in the face of adversity.

The parents tonight showed a slide show of his first year of life, with a large amount of pictures donated to his time in the NICU. I looked over at my husband and he had tears in his eyes, as did I. I can't even explain the deep emotions that pull on our heartstrings when we are brought back to our NICU time. Such a time of exhilaration, fear, excitement, wonder...It was a roller coaster, but one that we will always cherish. I have such good memories of our time in the NICU.

I met a wonderful woman in the park while I was there with my mom's group. She has preemie twins, and one of them had IUGR and really struggled. We sat down and spoke of oxygen, g-tubes, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and found that our children have the same teacher! Meeting someone who "spoke my language" was such a special treat. She even lives close to us, so I felt like it was a meeting surely planned by God. Anyway, a grandma overheard us talking about our horrific pregnancies, and she told us that her granddaughter had to be on antibiotics for 10 WHOLE DAYS! I became a bit annoyed with that and turned to the other mom and told her that Sweet B was only in the NICU for seven weeks, and asked her how long her son had been there. She said four months, and I think that the grandma got the point. Oh, how I hate doing that, and I must admit that it is not a good side of me, but until your baby is very sick or vulnerable in the NICU, you really don't understand.

However, Sweet B was a pound and eleven ounces, and was only there for seven weeks due to her advanced age when she was born. Most children at that size are there for months and months. Therefore, my NICU stay was nothing compared to most micro preemies and that's why I don't make a big deal of how long she stayed, because it really wasn't long compared to other babies her size.  I think that is why I have such good memories of the time. Yes, we had a NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) scare, and she had to go back on nasal cannula for a few weeks, but she did not need to be ventilated at all, have surgeries, and she was out of there relatively fast. So I probably shouldn't have said anything to this grandma, because to her, ten days on antibiotics probably was a big deal, and my seven week NICU stay must sound like a walk in the park compared to most micro preemie moms.

Well, it's gotten very late and it seems that I have rambled on and on, somehow managing to talk way too much about birthday parties and NICU stays.

*I must apologize for lack of pictures in this post. I promise that I will make it up to you soon. Also coming soon, an explanation of Sweet B's eating saga. The post is almost done, but it's really, really long, and therefore I have many mistakes to fix.

Just for fun, I'll post a NICU pic.

Most babies that small can't be picked up. I remember being terrified of my hubby holding her in his hands and since it was right in the beginning, I was so scared. But I remembered that we had to smile and celebrate just how much of a miracle she was. That is why I took this picture.